Yes, I mean my wild thing and I. It was simple, really. He found his wee (penis). And I started talking to him about how it was for peepee now, but would be for sexy time when he was older.
Next thing you know I'm telling him he should wait until he finds someone he loves and not to waste it on some gross, slutty girl. Gross, slutty girls lead to chlamydia. And who wants chlamydia? Not my wild thing, that's for sure. Because if he came home with chlamydia mommy would laugh at him for sticking his wee where it doesn't belong (in some janky ass, slutty chick with chlamydia) after she got him help. The slutty chick is not getting him help; mommy is...in case you were confused.
I'm having this conversation with my 5-month-old in a high baby-talkish voice and he's cooing right back at me. I didn't go into the dangers of other STDs. Why cross a line in weird conversations, right? Maybe next time.
At least he'll never be able to say we weren't open with him about sex.
No comments:
Post a Comment