Ailments and Heartache

I am blessed to have a happy, healthy little boy. I say that with a mix of happiness and sadness. I haven't always had this luxury.

What made me think about this is the plight of several of my friends with infants. When your little one is sick or not feeling 100%, it is the worst thing in the world. I wish that their babies didn't have to suffer with rashes or spit up or reflux. I feel for them; I truly do. I look at my wild thing and he is strong and healthy. It is a blessing to have this.

Not everyone does. I know that it can be taken away at any minute. I have had the sick kid and lost the battle we fought with his illness. I never want to throw this in people's faces (well, not anymore) and say, "Yeah, well, my cowboy died. That spit up problem is nothing compared to that." That would earn me the worst friend of the year award. I do, however, realize that when it is your kid, the problem that you are dealing with at the moment is the worst.

Is your baby miserable? Colicky? Suffering from reflux or a milk sensitivity? Does he have a rash? Did he bump his head? Does he have a heart condition or cancer? Is your child dying? Each of those things, when you have to deal with them, is the worst thing for your kid. Because they are suffering and they are yours.

I look at my wild thing and feel bad when he spits up or has teething pain. It hurts my heart to see him suffer.

It hurts my heart to know that his brother, my cowboy, suffered that way times a thousand. The suffering that he experienced, while I stood by, was immeasurable. My cowboy would have taken a scraped knee like a champ because it was nothing in comparison to what he dealt with on a regular basis before he died. Does that change the way I will respond to my wild thing when he scrapes his knee? No way! My heart will hurt for the pain he is enduring because he is my baby.

I hope that the worst thing we have to deal with, as mommies, is scraped knees, colic, an occasional broken bone, and sending them away to college. I hope your heartache never matches my own.