The Dirty Car Mommy Club

I look around at all of my friends with little ones around the same age as my wild thing. They all have dirty cars. I'm not talking about trash piled up inside. (That would be gross!) I'm talking about dirt becoming so thick that you can barely see through the windshield.

I'm embarrassed to drive around in my disgusting vehicle. Every time I get in I cringe. Do I have time to wash my car? No. Do I want to take my wild thing (who generally hates car seats) to the car wash while someone else washes it? No. Who has time for this? I'm busy taking care of my wild thing. He's clean, fed, and dressed most of the time.

It's interesting how becoming a mom changes many women. (No, not just the dirty car thing. That may have happened before the baby came along.) I watch my friends who are new moms and it's so interesting to see how they change. Some become more neurotic and panic easily. Strong, knowledgeable women begin to doubt everything they do. Others become softer. I know this last one sounds strange, but their actual personality changes. I've been told that being a mommy has this effect on me. Maybe it's the way that they light up around their baby or have opened themselves up emotionally. I was at a party a few weeks ago, and a girl I know, who has always bee nice, really opened up about her life and struggles with breastfeeding. I was amazed at how different she seemed since having her little one. Not everyone is like me, and does a complete 180 when the baby comes into the picture. I can't really pinpoint it for each and every woman, but I'm always fascinated by the women who change so dramatically when their babies come along.

For me, loving a baby is so easy. How could I not go soft with something so easy to love and so willing to love you back. Scientists talk about the fact that it is their cuteness, as infants, that draws us in and releases insane amounts of hormones. Loving is scary though; changing for my baby is scary. I'm afraid to love him and lose him. This happened with my cowboy and I swore I would never do it again. It hurt too much. Now that I have my wild thing, I can't help it. I'm head over heels and way more crazy than I was with my cowboy.

To all my friends who grow into themselves as they become mothers, really allow yourself to blossom. To all my friends who struggle and second-guess, just love them and trust your instincts. You fascinate me...all of you.