I just read an article about mommy anger, frustration, and losing your cool. The struggle is real, my friends. I know someone else wrote about it well, I feel the need to share. This is like my own personal confession of my AP/gentle parenting failure. It happens to so many of us. And what's worse? We're not supposed to talk about it.
I experienced it last night while shopping with my wild thing and mom. He started biting me and I ended up flicking him in his little cheek each time he escalated the biting because he didn't get the result he wanted (me to put him down). Neither of us was hurt by the biting or flicking; just angry. I hate when I respond this way. It's usually lack of resources; being hungry and tired gets the better of both of us.
Then I realized how I was acting. Yes, how I was acting, not him. He's one. It's normal for him to lash out when he doesn't get what he's asking for. I, on the other hand, am supposed to be a mature adult. I am supposed to be the one who helps him regulate all of these big emotions. People were watching our interaction and I was not modeling gentle parenting or helping him calm down.
I took a deep breath, sat him on the floor, and talked about being gentle with each other (Yes, both of us need to be gentle and I use this as my apology for acting inappropriately). Then we both modeled gentle touches. When he shows me gentle touches he rubs me gently and says, "Nice." (It's cute, and helps me when I was ready to lose my ish with him a few seconds before). The whole interaction took less than a minute and it was over.
Gentle parenting win. At least until the next time toddlerhood meets tired, hungry, stressed mommy. Hopefully I'll do better next time. That's all I can hope for; to constantly improve my interactions with him and others.
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