Work-at-home Mommy

It's a not enough to be called a stay-at-home mommy or homemaker. There's now a class of work-at-home mommies. I am now going to join the ranks of these working mommies. I'm not filling out surveys or secret shopping or doing data entry. I will be teaching in a virtual classroom.

I know I'll still be home and my wild thing doesn't have to go anywhere for me to work. My concern is that I will be home with him, but not actually present. If I'm going to work, this home teaching assignment is the best case scenario. So why am I hesitating? I feel like a big whiner that I get to be home with my wild thing (except for the few hours I'll be teaching while he naps or is with a mother's helper) and I get to make money.

Parenting is hard and I'm always second-guessing myself. I want my wild thing to have 110% from me. (I also feel the need to give 110% to my job and school and anything else I decide to take on.) It's relatively easy for me to be patient with him or meet all if his needs. The struggle I have is that I feel the need to savor every minute...every milestone. Here's hoping I can work from home and savor everything my wild thing has in store for me.

Couponing Conundrum

For me, couponing is stressful and, possibly, unrewarding. Granted, I'm not one of those extreme couponer ladies. I just figure, now that I'm home (READ=broke), I should help reduce the monthly expenses even further by whittling away at our grocery budget. I went shopping today an got a fair amount of stuff. The receipt makes me feel successful in my endeavor.

I couldn't believe it when I saw my total savings. Especially since I was very nervous about whether or not the coupons and deals would work like I imagined. Their coupon system is actually cool. They allow you to load manufacturer coupons to your reward card which is automatically applied to your purchase when your card is scanned. I only hand carried about half a dozen coupons. With sales, their coupons, and manufacturer coupons I saved around 50% off my total. Wowza!

I can't help but wonder if my total savings is skewed because I went to a new grocery store. I wonder what the total would have been if I had gone to Staters (my normal choice for grocery shopping). Part of me wonders if I was actually ripped off by their sale and high price gimmicks! Who knows?!?!?

On the plus side, I'm confident I can do this again and be successful. I can only get better, right? AND I can show the receipt to my hubs and bask in his praise at what an industrious wifey I am. Lol.

Baby Swim Spa

Baby spa bathtubs are enough of a luxury item that they make me giggle. Recently I heard about a place called a Baby Swim Spa. Babies get massages and "swim" in little tubs with a glass side so you can see what's going on.

First, the baby gets a kind of abrupt massage. Then, the little baby has a floaty attached to his head and floats around in this aquarium by himself. I found this awesome video that shows what it looks like.

Baby "Swimming"

Parents get this little video to music. Do you see how the baby doesn't even know what to do at first? He just kind of hangs there. Do you see the parents keep pushing him away from the edge so he doesn't get stuck along the side? Oh, the things that we do (as parents) to entertain our kids. Babies don't need lights, music, or massages at the swim spa. They are happy with our time and attention. Cracks me up!

I will have to say that my wild thing definitely needs one of these. Hehe!

Sleep Training?!?!?

So, I read all of these websites that talk about how wonderful sleep training is and negate parents who do attachment parenting-type behaviors. (All of the things I do.) One webpage actually said that, "otherwise intelligent parents were reduced to xyz to get their babies to sleep." I was blown away at their disregard for the way I choose to parent. It's my choice if I want to hold my baby or wear him to sleep. I don't think that these parenting behaviors make me less of an in-control or competent parent.

My wild thing came up on four months and became a crazy arm flailer. He hits himself, rips his paci out of his mouth, scratches himself, and does anything he can to fight sleep. I read that ALL babies like to be swaddled, even if they "scream viciously" when they are first wrapped. This sounds so stupid to me. My wild thing did not like to be swaddled when he was born and hasn't every time we tried since then. He protested loudly when we wrapped him up through those torturous weeks of night screaming. It always seemed to make it worse. My baby did not like being swaddled.

Since he began flailing his arms in the last few weeks he has been struggling with sleep...falling and staying asleep. I read that swaddling can be done without the legs. I tried this and it has worked. Just wrapping his arms helps him to sleep longer and fall asleep easier. The other day he actually woke up and fell back asleep several times while swaddled. This was awesome! Usually, awake is awake whether he's been asleep five minutes or an hour. I feel the need to write an ode to swaddling.

Wrap his arms not legs
He will sleep the hours away
Wake with smiles for me

Okay, it's more of a haiku. ;)

I'm still not interested in scheduling my wild thing, since I feel that having a child should change your life. You shouldn't expect everything to be the same afterward. Okay, I'm off my parenting soapbox. To each his own. I'm happy wrapping his arms is making him sleep well and wake happy.

How much anxiety is normal?

My wild thing is 4 months-old now. The only time we've been apart is when he went to Farmer Boys with the hubs. He slept the whole way and they went through the drive-thru. It was 20 minutes tops. This was about 3 weeks ago. I was stressed as they drove away, but we made it through.

He will be about 5 months the first time we are apart for a few hours. The thing planned is the first week of September and I'm starting to feel anxiety about being away from him for several hours. It's a photography class that I'm super excited about. My excitement doesn't seem to outweigh my anxiety. Hours fly by as when we are together, but I feel like the will drag torturously while we are apart. I've been blessed to be home, join a research team where my wild thing can be with me for most things, and have an advisor who will let me bring him to class if I've got no other options.

I thought, maybe, it would get easier as he got older...and I wouldn't have as much anxiety about leaving him. I was wrong. The other day we were at a friend's house and she was sitting on the floor next to my wild thing. He got this look on his face, like, "WTH is going on? And who are you?" As soon as he could see me the look disappeared and a potential crisis was averted. My problem is that the crisis is imminent. I will have to be away from him to go to school, etc. Sigh!

What the heck am I going to do with this anxiety? What happened to the calm and collected woman who inhabited my body before my wild thing came along? I kind of want her back.